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Archive for December, 2009

Dear Diary, I’m sorry I forget th…ummm I forgot

Posted by The Bludge on December 1, 2009

Dear Bludge Diary,

I started my period and now have to wear this crazy contraption…no wait, that’s ‘Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret’.
My bad.

Oh diary, I am SO sorry it’s been over a month since we last spoke.

Here’s my list of excuses:
1. Work (no really!)
2. Children
3. Brain Damage (see above)

I actually did have a big deadline at work, TWO of them really and I met them both! Then we broke up and it’s been kind of ugly since, I don’t want to talk about it.

I have finally started college and that has me a little busy as well. I have to correct people when they say “Oh, you’re going back to school, that’s great!” I have to tell them, “No, I’m FINALLY going to school, to go back, one has to already have been there and I have not…unless you count the motorcycle safety course I took in the college parking lot in 1998.”
See, I tell them something pretty lame about myself, then I redeem myself and distract them by implying that I’m pretty badass.
(It works on guys)

Some things that have been keeping me busy:

I failed a lactose tolerance test, or maybe I passed it, I’m not sure. My friend keeps telling me that I’m a milk bigot.

I built elaborate train tracks with my 3 year old son (when I should’ve been studying).
Instead of studying tonight: on Twitpic

FINALLY got a memory card for my Crackberry and promptly found out applications won’t save to it anyway. D’oh!

Updating my Twitter and Facebook Status with gems like:
“Eating Thanksgiving leftovers, my son asked for more “sweetballs.” He meant meatballs but someone had just said “sweet potatoes”.”
“Eileen is a douche-monkey for not rapping at karaoke last night!”
“There is a significant difference between acting immature and being immature.”
“Eileen is a cereal killer.”
“Quote(s) of the night “Oh, I thought you said Linda Ronstadt Muffins” “No, it was Rasta Rat Wig Muffins””

Found a delectable cake at Safeway that we fondly call the “Penis Poop Sword Cake”

I had my BFF over to the house to watch 40 Years of Sesame Street. Actually, we only watched the first 20 years, and we laughed so hard and have been caught recently singing “you have to put the rubber duckie down if you want to play the saxophone!”
Also, we somehow managed to talk about creating a website called

Photographed a local with “Rabid Kate Hair” Syndrome
Jon and Kate plus 8 cases of child abuse

Discovered local TV anchor Brian Bolter is a funny guy.

Family trip to the National Museum of Natural History in DC:

Got the Vondo virus on my work computer. 😦

Taking cute pictures of the boy:

Came across the hilarious website (thank you Elaine!)

Eventually, I will even write a blog about the Sirsy Concert, I did post the pictures already at least!!

Gotta go, So You Think You Can Dance is on!!


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