The Bludge's Blog

Seeking acceptance from the intarwebs

Hollywood Week! Round 1!

Posted by The Bludge on February 24, 2010

It’s Hollywood Week y’all!!!


At the beginning, we have 181 contestants, which will have to be whittled down to 24 – 12 girls women females and 12 boys men males.


Ryan calls Hollywood Week venue the Kodak Theatre “The most high profile stage in the world.”

*eyebrow raise* ORLY?


So, yay! It’s Ellen Degeneres’s debut!! But can someone tell me why she’s making out with Ryan??

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I like Ellen.
I’ve liked Ellen since her FIRST fish impersonation (infishination?) about 20 years ago (OMG I sound OLD).
Also, her fly impression was good.
I never would’ve guessed someone with that quirky a personality would be as hugely famous as she is now.


Anyhooters, let’s talk about singers.
Did y’all happen to see any on Idol?
😀


So I apparently inhaled too much paint fumes at work today because Skiiboski actually looked…attractive.

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You know, until he started singing.
He later got cut, of course.


Katie Stevens is kind of a given. She’s young and cute and has a powerhouse voice.

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She does need more of a personality, but jinkies, she’s 17.
My personality at 17 was like the sound of nails on a chalkboard, and not just anyone’s nails, those ladies with loooong natural (read:disgusting) fingernails.


Aww HELL naw, I don’t mean like that, that’s just wrong.



Vanessa Wolf, from Vonore, Tennessee (why do I remember this useless shit?!?) did exactly what I thought she would do.
Suck.
I felt bad for her, but I think we all knew that she was going to be WAY too nervous to sing well, and she’d be all over the place. To be honest, she didn’t seem that good to begin with, I think her story was more compelling than anything else, even though it was just “I live in a trailer in the south.”
I am really not trying to dog on her, but I hated her hair.

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The good news is that she got to ride on an AIROPLANE!!
(she got cut BTW)


Cornelius “Pants Splitter” Edwards.
President and sole member of the Crotch-Slam-Dancing club.

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He attempted “Cowboy Take Me Away” by the Dixie Chix and dear god it was awful, I shouldn’t have to tell you that he was cut-though I just did.



They didn’t really show Maegan Wright’s performance but Kara said it was all over the place.
Also, I think the keyboard sounded very tinkery.
Tinkery. It’s a word (now).

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Amadeo, the large Jersey Rhode Island boy didn’t make the cut.



Janelle Wheeler didn’t ring a bell with me, meaning I couldn’t remember if she’d been showcased already.
She played guitar which I LOVE. Chicks that play guitar are cool, and even more awesomer when they also sing!!
Awesomer. Look it up.

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I can’t even sing and clap at the same time.
Anyhoodle, Ellen LOVED her performance. What a shock, it’s not like Ellen has a thing for blond girls or anything…




Haeley Vaughn, the adorable, squeezeable, future pop country singer was ok, she gets yelly, but I LOVED that she’s 16 and singing AND playing the guitar!! Even though it totally sounded like a eukelele. Weird.



Mary Powers picked a pretty good song for her voice, Pink’s “Sober.” I still think she’s trying too hard with her outfit though:

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Not really showcased at all but making it through another day was Todrick “Who’s My Daddy?”, Charity, and HOTASS Ashley Rodriguez. Good, I like them.

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On Day 2, beat-boxer Jay Stone spit and hiccuped into the mike and got cut.


Then we were introduced to Lilly Scott, a wannabe albino that can sing well and has clearly been doing so for a while.
She sang an Ella Fitzgerald number and made it through with ease, though she needs to open her eyes and connect with the audience – there’s only so far just being good at singing will take you.

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Big Mike Lunche (Type and it stays) was about to go on when his wife’s water broke.
How long ago were the auditions because his wife looked about 4 months pregnant then…?
He sang “Waiting on the World to Change” and played guitar!!

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I wonder if he has to have an extra large guitar?



Tim Urban was introduced, sang a David Cook song, and wasn’t really that interesting or good.

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I think this is him?



I think this Justin guy was the hot guy I remembered from before but it was hard to tell…

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I didn’t like his performance, which makes me sad. And every girl I know.


Some of my favorites were cut: Erica “Whip it. Whip it good” Rose, and sisters Amanda and Bernadette. Boo 😦


Maddy Curtis, the young, female Jesus sang a very churchy performance and proved that American Idol is NOT her bag.

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Casey “Take Your Shirt Off” James sang an original blues song while playing guitar-it was pretty cool!
I’m liking him a little more now, even though he was making faces during his performance.

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Didi Benami sang a song written by Kara called “Terrified” and I CRIED I loved it so much.

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I.
Cried.

I LOVED her voice and she was just totally IN the song.



Crystal Bowersox sang “Natural Woman” which has been sung SOOOOOOOOOooooooo many times on this show.
She was also playing guitar and being generally awesome, as was evidenced by the crowd of other contestants singing backup for her and giving her a standing ovation when she finished.

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Now I’m going to go take a few hits of Paula Abdul (she doesn’t do drugs, oh no. Now she IS drugs.) so I can quickly write up the Top 12 girls’ episode, even though I have 3 other episodes to catch up on, but fuck it.
Then I have to watch the Top 12 guys’ performances and blog that shit up too.
OMG.
*snoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooortttttt*


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