The Bludge's Blog

Seeking acceptance from the intarwebs

The One Where Nothing Interesting Happened

Posted by The Bludge on March 3, 2010

Top 10 Boys!!

Today was supposed to be the Top 10 Girls but Crystal is in the hospital!!

Yikes! I wonder why?
Remember when Megan “Caw caw” (Corkery) Joy sang even though she had pneumonia, mono, meningitis, and AIDS or something?
That was the only time I ever liked her, because that took bawls.


Anyway, Randy matches the set background today.

AI REVIEW

Odd.


Looks like Kara had a visit from the Aquanet fairy.

AI REVIEW

Is it just me or is she channeling Susan Lucci?

Oh! AND, she didn’t swing around the bat wings tonight!
She’s still sleeveless, but this time she just waved her hand.
Attagirl, Grandma!


So…more Billboard Hits!



#1 Big Mike – We learn that in high school he was a football player and musical theatre participant.
He benches 505 pounds. To prove that he can lift at least 45 pounds, he lifts Aaron “Boy Band” Kelly.

AI REVIEW

Mike’s going to sing James Brown’s “It’s a Man’s World.” I am not familiar with this song.
I appreciate him not theatrecising (I make up words) his performance too much, and he sings well, but I’m just not LOVING it.
Randy did though, and gave Mike a standing ovation. Actually, all of the judges really liked it.
I must admit, I like who Mike seems to be, fun, upbeat, caring, funny, etc.


#02 John Park sang “Gravity” by John Mayer.
Phew, that was pitchy. Do you think he could maybe pull off Usher? I mean, vocally?
Prolly he doesn’t have the swagger.

So, I was not a fan of John’s performance, it was kinda boring. But I voted for him anyway because I thought he had so much potential…was it just a fluke?

Are there any big asian pop singers?

I GIS’d (it’s Google Image Searched, Mom) “big asian pop star” (luckily I didn’t come up with fat guys) and I have NO idea if she’s even a pop star but (really, who cares) I came up with this:

Thank you, Asia!!

Turns out she is a “huge asian pop star”, which totally makes sense because I have heard of her…..never.


#03 Casey James is apparently really high because he thought he could sing the same exact song as many NOT winners of previous American Idol seasons and actually sound different.
Sure, I give him props for wailing on the guitar at the beginning and end, but it’s a damned good thing he ended the song with a guitar solo to wake us up from the canned performance that was less than endearing.
If he hadn’t pulled that move, I don’t think people would’ve voted for him.

Oh, who am I kidding?? Chix will vote for him anyway because they think he’s hot.

It’s not that I don’t think he’s hot, he’s ok looking, but I can’t be attracted to men with prettier hair than mine.


#04 Mr. Mullet (Alex Lambert)

Is the mullet ironic?

Ok, so this season and forward, I’m going to try not to be so appearance-oriented.
Last year I hated on Adam Lambert for being such a gay (only because I’m not exactly the demographic to sell gay boy singers to-not cuz he’s gay).
Having said that (and making completely no sense), and not trying to be mean, if Alex didn’t have a mullet there might not be anything interesting enough for him to stick out.
He does have a cool voice, and he was MILES better than last week, but he needs more…oomph.


#05 Mr. Todrick Hall, I do not like your hair this week.

IMG01798.jpg

Also, I accidentally wrote “Todick”. HAHA.

So, Toedick sang “What’s Love Got to do with it” by the legendary Tina Turner.
The singing was……not good.
Performance was a bit boring but he just has so much going for him and he does have a good voice, so I voted for him.


#06 Jermaine Sellers

Oh, dear, sweet, 7 pound 9 ounce baby Jesus*.

Jermaine is wearing footie pajamas.

He is calling it a onesie, but if you’re a parent, you know it’s footies!!
(I should point out that he isn’t wearing the footie PJs to perform in)

I really like how flamboyant he is but what in Pee Wee Herman hell is he wearing?

AI REVIEW

He sang “What’s Goin’ On” by Marvin Gaye and it’s not great-prolly needs to come down a key.
Once he started talking to the judges after he performed I decided that I don’t like his cocky attitude.
He made a comment that basically equates to “God will put me through to next week.”
Oh, good. God is calling in votes for Jermaine, so don’t worry about calling, ok?


#07 Andrew Garcia
He’s a breakdancer! Yay!
I remember in high school when this tiny little boy was breakdancing and I thought it was SO LAME, cuz breaking was like, SO 1987 and it was like, TOTALLY 1992.
Anyway, I bet he makes bank now. (Call me, Peter!)

ANYnerdglasses, Andrew is singing James Morrison’s “You Give Me Something.”
I do not know this song.
I do not care to know this song.
Why is Andrew dressed like he’s about to clock in to work at Aeropostale? He needs to get rid of the scarf and put something more manly around his neck, like barbells or condoms or something.
He has NO expression on his face, like his mind is in another room and his body is going through the motions (of possibly getting a rectal exam).

The judges made a good point, he has GOT to do something better than when he sang Paula Abdul’s “Straight Up” at Hollywood week cuz that was bitchin, and this performance was not.

I voted for Andrew anyway because his wife is ADORABLE.

AI REVIEW


#08 Boy Band (Aaron Kelly)
Two good things about Boyband; 1) he is an amateur photographer (me too!), and 2) his performance was 50% better this week! It was a bit immature and awkward, but he’s SIXTEEN!! He prolly has to wear 7 pairs of underwear so he doesn’t get a boner onstage.
Puberty is a helluva thing.

Sidenote – Who is Justin Beiber?
(I get that he’s famous. I’m guessing prolly a singer?)


#09 Tim Urban
I WANT to like him and his performance, but there’s something missing…
Maybe it’s because he seems like a totally vanilla, pristine christian and I just have nothing in common with him.
😀
The judges were kinda brutal but Simon thought he improved, I would rather see Tim stay than Jermaine.


#10 Lee Dewyze
So, Lee used to be a schlub.
Bad in school, dead-end job as a paint salesman, so, I like that he gets the chance to make it big and show kids that you can be a piece of crap in your teenage years but actually make a conscious decision to CHANGE YOUR BEHAVIOR and change your life.
I sure wish someone had told ME that.
(Not that I would’ve listened)

Anyscruffy, I did not like that he yanked his draws up onstage.
Twice.
I will not deduct points however because I am glad he didn’t grab his crotch.

I’m not sure “Lips of an Angel” by the Pretenders was a great choice for Lee because he wasn’t really on key a lot, so maybe for next week he does a more upbeat song where he doesn’t have to hold notes?
I did not vote for Lee but only because I DVR the show and by the time I got to Lee it was JUST midnight so time was up. I think.


It’s 10:30pm on Wednesday now and there’s NO chance I will get through the entire episode from today of the top 10 girls before voting time has ended, BUT, I do know that Crystal was supposed to sing!

Also, if my husband comes home from work AGAIN and has to watch American Idol AGAIN while I constantly pause it to write down comments AND pause it to take screen captures I am pretty sure he will leave me.
Hmmm, but then I will get the bed all to myself again!
BBL, gonna go watch Idol!!


*waves* Hi Carolyn & Nanci!!




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4 Responses to “The One Where Nothing Interesting Happened”

  1. You didn’t say hi to me. I am unfriending you. After all we have been through.

    Can I still come over and run on your treadmill though?? lol

    Fun post… I never have to actually watch the show because of you!

    • The Bludge said

      Lookit here missy, I only said hi to Carolyn and Nanci where there is an ASTERISK because where the FIRST asterisk is, I used a quote/term of theirs.
      SUCKIT! lol

  2. Nanci said

    *waves back* Hi Eileen!

    I’m so glad this was in my inbox to start my day. Not only is it 4am, but I think a poltergeist or something paranormal just did forward rolls down my hallway. Or, we had an earthquake. Either way, I needed the distraction, and the laugh.

    BTW, Chrystal ROCKED! As did Siobhan. 1st and last, everything else was a creamy vanilla center.

  3. Erotik, Porn, und Geile Amateure said

    Du willst eigener Pornstar werden? [ deleted link ]

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