The Bludge's Blog

Seeking acceptance from the intarwebs

episode21

Posted by The Bludge on March 18, 2010

Top 12!!!!!!!!!!!

It’s Rolling Stones Week!! This should be…interesting.

And, YAY! They brought the bio videos back!! YAY!!

And YAY!! for Ellen’s ascot!!!

AI REVIEW
(It’s a scarf, whatever)


#1 Mike Lynche
AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh BABY!!!!!!!
Not him. I mean they showed his baby!!! Cuuuuuuuute!!

He’s singing “Miss You” which I totally could only recognize when the back-up singers sang the chorus.

Big Mike is SO fun to watch though, even though he’s a total ham.
He seems to be SUCH a nice guy that I don’t think we can help but like him.

That said though, he’s used all of his falsetto cards for this song and should stop now.
Also, I would not buy this song.
Ever.

I will vote for Mike though!

I am looking forward to Simon’s opinion because the other judges just verbally tossed his salad.

Ahhh good. Simon said he was corny.

Ummm, ok, so for those of you that didn’t watch, after Simon finished his critique Ryan asked him what he meant and then, I am not kidding you, CHARGED the judges table and got all up in Simon’s grill.
At first it was funny and it would’ve continued to have been if Ryan had immediately backed off and laughed it off, but instead it was just REALLY awkward.
It was basically like a little toddler getting all up in Chef Ramsey’s face. Almost funny, but an angry toddler isn’t funny.


#2 Didi sang “Play with Fire”
It starts out all dramatic and slow and I REALLY hope the tempo picks up!
Hmmmmm, nope.
Uh oh!! She missed the start of the 2nd verse! She caught it, didn’t flub up too bad but it was obvious!
She was pushing the vocals 😦
But I LIKE Didi!! I HAVE to find something nice to say!
The chorus was good? Although I wish she hadn’t sung each chorus the SAME EXACT way.
Oh wow! I can’t believe all of the judges are complimenting her!! I mean, YAY! But, I’m surprised.
I wouldn’t buy this song, but I would TOTALLY buy her CD.
I’m going to vote my ASS off for Didi, I think she may REALLY need it!


#3 Casey James is from COOL, Texas.
Cool, huh!?!? Huh huh
Oh WOW, check out the MILF!!

AI REVIEW

Heh
Casey sang “It’s All Over Now” and he made a good decision by choosing to play his guitar because without it I would’ve barfed all over myself.
It was NOT the best song for him, it was repetitive and not the right key.

I’m not going to explain it but Ellen was HYSTERICAL at this part of the show. (Basically, she made a gay joke)


#4 Lacey Brown
Um, WHY did they show a pic of Lacey basically picking her nose at the age of 5?
I mean, she was a BEAUTIFUL little girl, but…???
Lacey sang “Ruby Tuesday” and it was
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORINNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGG
She REALLY should’ve rocked it out.
Yucky, I didn’t like any of it.

You know, Lacey could probably have one hit album in a Dido/Jewel/Divinyls/Tori Amos kind of way, but I don’t think it could be more than that.



It was here that Kara first referred to Ellen and Randy as “the guys” which I MAY not have noticed if TWO of my friends hadn’t told me about it on Facebook before I watched the show.


#5 Andrew Garcia’s Dad thought he was going to be a custodian when he grew up.
Wow.
Just.
WOW.

Andrew is singing “Gimme Shelter.”
He just has such a cool voice.
Who is he singing to?
What the hell is this song about?
His wife is SO CUTE!!!

It wasn’t bad but it wasn’t that interesting, or great.

I wonder if he regrets ever singing “Straight Up.”

Yet again I am agreeing with Kara in that he didn’t connect with the song because she said it’s about WAR and I didn’t hear that at ALL.


#6 Katie Stevens
UGH.
I don’t even want to watch her sing a Stones song.
She’s going to sing “Wild Horses”

Well…at least the chorus woke me up.

Yes, she can sing, but her voice isn’t…..pretty.

Yeah, that sounded mean, but what I mean is, while she is singing in tune and has a strong voice…it’s just not compelling…she has no personality…she is not remarkable.
This is American IDOL, not Another American Girl Who Can Sing, But, Really? Do We Care?


#7 Tim Urban has 9 brothers and sisters.
NINE.
And ONE SHOWER.
ONE!!
Ok, with that much cheap labor they could’ve BUILT another one.

Sorry, but when his brother said “He was the quarterback and I was his wide receiver” I couldn’t help but gigglesnort like the 12-year-old boy that I am.
Maybe I’ve been reading Michael K. too much (don’t click on that).

Tim is singing “Under My Thumb”

At least…that’s what they said he was going to sing, but this song is like……Tiny Tim meets Pee Wee Herman meets 9-year-old Bob Marley meets a trainwreck.

The crowd was clapping along and I couldn’t tell if there was a beat or not.
I don’t think Tim could, either.

It sounded like he was singing to a bunch of toddlers. (Which would’ve made sense if Paula was still on the show.)

APPARENTLY, he was doing a reggae version of the song.

It was just WEIRD.

In response to the judges thinly veiled “WTF were you thinking?” Tim said “I had fun,” which is like saying “You think I sucked and I don’t know what to say because if I said “It was THEBESTPERFORMANCEEVER” everyone would just think I’m a schmuck and if I said “It was crap” then no one would vote for me.”


Kara said “The guys” again!!


#8 Siobhan Magnus
She sang “Painted Black” and at first I wasn’t sure if the song would work because it starts out “I see a red door and I want it painted black” which is just WEIRD, but the song is basically about someone who is depressed and can’t stand to look at anything that might be cheerful so I think we can ALL relate to it.
Or the song’s about monkies.
Either way it started out slow and that really showcased the control she has over her voice, then it picked up, which is the PERFECT mix.

But then she started singing from the back of her throat again and it kind of reminds me of when, in Finding Nemo, Nemo’s Dad Marlin and Dory are in the Pelican’s throat and Marlin grabs hold of the bird’s tongue to keep from being swallowed.

Also, Siobhan’s hair was a little “Yentyl”

I wouldn’t buy that song, I’m not even sure that I would buy her album, but I will vote for her.


#9 Lee Dewyze
Basically, in his pre-performance bio video thingy, he talks about how he’s ALWAYS been shy and scared of performing and yadda yadda and I feel scared for him.
WAIT, that’s EXACTLY what they want!!
They want us to vote for him out of sympathy!!

Nice try, Idol.
Nice try.

He sang “Beast of Burden” and I actually liked it.
His voice sounded better than usual and it really worked for him.
Though it was a good performance, I likely won’t remember it.


#10 Paige
I’m not even writing ANYthing for Paige because she should NOT be here.

AHhh, DAMNIT!
I WASN’T going to write anything but she was really good! She sang “Honky Tonk Woman” and she reminded me of Carrie Underwood!
Weird!
I think it was because she worked the stage and smiled and stuff.
Her voice was MUCH better than…well, ever…which is ODD because apparently she has laryngitis.
Shit, maybe if she sleeps out in the cold and keeps her hair wet and stuff she can stay sick and stay in the competition.

Two things about her performance, though.
One, she can’t push her lower register like she can really belt the higher notes.
Two, it REALLY bugged the CRAP out of me when she was singing the word “mine” and she turned it into “MEH HOOH HUH HIND”

Oh and WHAT DID I TELL HER ABOUT THE SHORTALLS.

STOPIT!!!!


#11 Aaron Little
In his bio video his Mom says he has been passionate about music since he was 9 years old.
Wow.
So like, for 3 WHOLE YEARS!!!
Can we make his adoptive Mom the next American Idol? She’s great.

Aaron sang “Angie”
Can we glue his eyebrows in place?
Staple?


#12 Oh, YAY! Crystal isn’t wearing 1,700 layers of clothing!
She sang “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” which I think was a requirement for Rolling Stones night.

One word, Crystal.

SPANX!
They’re your friend.

I see they’ve been working on her teefs.
Smart to do a little at a time.

It’s good to see her get into the song a little because she has seemed SO aloof lately.

Ellen was right when she said that a part of Crystal had been missing but she showed herself tonight.

It’s not that her performance wasn’t good, but I don’t think I’ll vote for Crystal tonight.



So, that’s it!!
Here’s my ranking:

#1. Siobhan
#2. Mike
#3. Aaron
#4. Lee
#5. Crystal
#6. Paige
#7. Didi
#8. Casey
#9. Katie
#10. Lacey
#11. Andrew
#12. Tim



I don’t think Tim will go home because I think there are still young girls (or gross women that like young boys) that will vote for him, so it’s either Lacey or Andrew.


UPDATE/SPOILER – LACEY WENT HOME


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2 Responses to “episode21”

  1. Nanci said

    Love it…was pining away for it…so thank you.

    I actually DID like Tim, for the first time. I think he was attempting to do a Jason Mraz spin on that song, which, like he said himself, was better than him attempting to sing like Mick Jagger. We all know THAT wasn’t going to happen. Siobhan and Chrystal make it watchable. Oh…and that one guy, Ellen. 😉

  2. Amy said

    Ok .. I don’t get it. Why is everyone all up on Siobhan? She bores the hell out of me, and her voice doesn’t appeal to me at all.

    The little toddler with the ellen haircut kicked ass this week, in my opinion.

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