The Bludge's Blog

Seeking acceptance from the intarwebs

I still have no idea…

Posted by The Bludge on February 11, 2011

For some reason, this show started out with some whiny slut who eventually got around to her point:
“Just because someone farts, let ’em keep singing, you know?”
……………………………………………………………..the FUCK!??

This is the final audition city…San Francisco

Midget Ukraine Barbie here has a lot of music videos on YouTube

omg this is gonna be terrible
Just to demonstrate her foreign talents, Ms. Inessa did some bellydancing and ended with yoga.
Her singing didn’t make me want to sharpen spears and insert them indelicately into my earballs, but she didn’t make it to Hollywood.


Then there were three good people that were good that I didn’t bother to take a picture of.


Stefano Langone here

was in an accident.
He has a nasty scar on his left arm and lots and lots of other places. Jeez he got tore UP. Don’t worry, I didn’t get any pictures of him being all mangled.
I’m very curious as to what caused the accident, and if anyone else was involved.
He sang “Heard it Through the Grapevine” and did a great job.

I do not like this guy, Clint “Junebug” Something-or-other

I didn’t like his singing, his glasses irritated me, he was wearing leather pants and a striped knit sweater.
I’m cranky.


Some jackwagon looking like a monkey came out and got immediately no’d.


These pictures of the judges aren’t even for the monkey, they’re just for some random guy who couldn’t sing:




Then there was a transformer, made from a Power Wheels that actually works.

He actually SANG while folded up as a Transformer. LOL

He didn’t make it.


There were about 3-4 more girls that got in, but they weren’t hot enough to bother photographing.


ALERT!
ALERT!
Hot girl/Sob Story:

Julie and her family are from Columbia. They built their house in the Andes but straight up left suddenly without telling anyone because of the guerrillas.

ANYway, it was her 20th birthday that day and she sang “Summertime,” it was ok I guess, the judges liked her.


Dave Combs had long hair and sang some Beatles song.
Steven called the guy out for not being anywhere near the melody.

Then Steven was straight up telling people they were terrible, it was kind of fun.


Emily Ann(e?) Reed from Arlington, Virginia

She would’ve had a sob story except her voice sounded like a 9 year old reading a poem in third grade.

The sob part of her story was that wherever she had been living, it burned down. They didn’t say why but I think I know…

She sounds like Shirley Temple
Steven said no, Randy said yes and then JLo did too.
Steven asked her to play a song on the guitar and she sang along to whatever the hell it was and apparently Jennifer liked what she heard cuz she said “I was right”.
I have NO idea.

Ending on another sob story is James Durbin, 21 years old.
He cried because:
1) He was diagnosed with Terets and Aspergers.
2) His Dad played bass and was never around and later OD’d on drugs
3) He has a kid son who is less than 2 years old.
4) He has no job
5) He has a girlfriend
6) Air exists
I dunno what he’s singing…but he’s trying to be Adam Lambert
Then he asked to sing Dream On
He was LOUD but I couldn’t decide if I liked him.
They liked his range, thought it was great, actually.
Steve was impressed with his ‘melodic sensibility’. I don’t know what that means.

I leave you all with this message from Steven:

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One Response to “I still have no idea…”

  1. Nanci said

    O how I needed this today!

    Honestly though, America NEEDS a straight Adam Lambert impersonator with Tourettes, doesn’t it? I mean, that’s Reality TV GOLD right there!

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