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Posts Tagged ‘show’

Musical Review – Schiavone McGee

Posted by The Bludge on November 17, 2011

Who: Schiavone McGee
Where: Ned Devine’s, Herndon
When: November 11, 2011
CD: My Only Secret

Having been a fan back in Fighting Gravity days, and having purchased the CD online prior to the show, I was very much looking forward to Schiavone McGee performing at Ned Devine’s in Herndon on the appropriately special 11-11-11.


First, the new CD does not disappoint. The strong, electric voice that made an all-ages crowd back in The Bayou days get up and jump shone through and grabbed my attention immediately. I did not have to wonder what my reaction would have been had I not been familiar with his voice, as I played the music for 2 friends that weren’t familiar with Schiavone or his old band – both of them came to the show with me, if that indicates their approval.

Though the new CD bears Schiavone’s name, the new music is backed by a full band, one that adds a wonderful, complex auditory back-story. All of the music is well thought out, placed just-so, and Schiavone should be proud, because he put his heart and soul into this album. It shows. He clearly possesses the talent it takes to create something with a lot of parts and not have any pieces leftover.


Schiavone’s venture away from ska definitely doesn’t come across as a foreign sound. His voice lends itself well to this more mature rock sound. The theme of Schiavone’s solo release seems obvious: personal growth; a shedding of the assumptions of youth. The lyrics paint a reflective look back that I think most of us can relate to, trying in vain to help someone only to realize that sometimes you have to let go. There is evidence of the clarity you get when you stop clinging to something that you’re only attached to by irrational emotion. He seems to have found that there is freedom and independence in taking control of your life. From my vantage, the result seems to be a relaxed confidence.


Though he has been the front-man, and likely had an ego inflated by thousands of fans over the years, Schiavone’s album clearly states: This is mine, and I know it’s good. There’s no bragging. It’s just true. The confidence isn’t ego, Schiavone just owns this as a part of his life–a big, public part, but just a part, and his pieces seem to be fitting together a lot more smoothly these days. Dare I say it comes with age and experience; though Schiavone’s appearance and voice have not seemed to age.

Similar to his vocal prowess not aging, his stage presence has not faded. I believe he might actually be more comfortable on stage than off. As he steps behind the mic the shift between ‘Vonz’ and ‘Schiavone McGee’ is apparent, though it’s a smooth transition. Probably this is true of most performers. When presenting ourselves and our art we are in control, but when we step down from the podium we’re vulnerable to people’s opinions and, in this case, several very drunk women.


Schiavone and his band played numerous new hits as well as some Fighting Gravity tunes, to the delight of many fans that cheerfully sang along at (almost) all of the right spots.
This clearly was Schiavone’s show; the band, though extremely solid, did not have many opportunities to shine. I confess that I’m horribly absent-minded and easily distracted so that could just be my ignorant perception, as I’ve never been a guitar, bass, sax player, or drummer.

So, after returning to my “real job” I played some of Schiavone’s new songs as well as some old, fun, Fighting Gravity tunes and my co-worker not only became an instant fan, but is also anticipating Schiavone’s next gig. I think this speaks volumes for 1) my friends/family having AWESOME taste, and 2) the beauty of Schiavone’s voice.


When I go to good shows, or hear some really good recorded music it stirs up my emotions, making me want to write music of my own. Unfortunately, that’s not my forte, but I did get to take some great photos of ‘Vonz’ and photos of the crowd that he requested:



My favorite of Schiavone



Guitarist Michael Sauri


For more photos, please visit my photography site: www.eileenporter.com/fame


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Are We There Yet?

Posted by The Bludge on May 9, 2011

So, I barely watched last week’s results show, but the only part that mattered was that Casey was kicked off.
Well, that’s fine with me.
Can we get Pia back, though? We can kick Scotty off right now and then there’d be a spot open! At least for another week.


Jacket/Hat and icky dick-sucker-face Sheryl Crow are the mentors this week.

Ok, so I’m not supposed to be so critical of appearances anymore cuz it’s small-minded and hateful and stuff but I formed that opinion a very long time ago because I was a contrary, ornery bitch and if people liked something, I did NOT. It’s really hard to shake those opinions.
Also, working in retail and having the Top 40 songs play on a loop for 8 and a half straight hours didn’t help.


James was up first.
Did I mention his voice reminds me of Sebastian Bach?
He’s singing some song that is either titled “30 seconds to Mars” or that’s the name of the band. I don’t really care. No really, I don’t care, so don’t bother telling me in a note.

Um, is that a toupee?

Wait, didn’t I just say that I’m not supposed to make fun of people’s appearance?
Aww screw it.
This song is as boring as taking a lactose tolerance test.
(Trust me, it’s a loooong, boooring process.)


Jacob is singing “No air” by Jordan Sparks and that guy that beat up Rhianna and seriously needs to look into Zoloft.
Jacob’s singing both parts.
He’s moving so awkwardly.
In the middle of singing a word he’ll remember that he needs to be dancing and he’ll waggle his hips and then he’s back to concentrating on singing, then he’ll spasm again. Rinse, seizure, repeat, etc.
And he is SO not in tune when he’s concentrating on moving his body. And it’s not attractive.
Then again, I’m not a gay dood.


Lauren is next and I like her appearance!!!
She’s wearing black, YAY!
And her hips are wearing a necklace and it’s long and strandy (it’s a word, now) and it’s elongating her midsection instead of making her look like a troll doll.

I have no fucking clue what the hell she’s singing.
Apparently that was a Carrie Underwood song.
She has a great voice but she’s still so unsure of herself. TOTALLY understandable seeing as she’s 16, but still…


Scotty is going to be leaning into “Gone” by Montgomery Gentry.
Ok, I will NOT take a picture of his flute-mic tonight.
Oh, HAH! He is purposefully trying NOT to do that.
YAY!!
I actually like him more today, but I’m still not taking his picture.

Strike that, I hate him. He fluted the mic again.
This song is BORING.
Speaking of Gone…WHY IS SCOTTY NOT GONE!?!??


Haley
She’s doing a Lady Gaga song that isn’t released but Gag-gag does it at her shows apparently.
It appears to be a slow song.

What the fuck…Haley has hooves

I’m not sure she’s really connecting to the song right now.
But she’s killing it vocally.


James is back up for his 2nd song…
In his practice video he starts singing some slow song and lost it trying to sing this emotional song with Sheryl and then he told her and jacket/hat that he couldn’t do it, he couldn’t sing anymore, he was done for the day, and he walked off.
WOW.
That was ballsy.

So now he’s singing the song on stage and I think if he’s going to cry on live TV he’d better wait until the end. Like, as in, when he’s done.
I don’t know what the name of this song is but I know Mariah Carey sang the shit out of it.
And I can barely hear James at all, until he hit the higher register.
And he’s crying and still singing and yelling and not hitting notes and nowhere near in-tune.
Sorry, he doesn’t get a sympathy vote because SUCKITUP you’re on national TV and I like professional singers to act that way.

Ok, so when I cry I can’t even speak so I surely couldn’t sing so knowing he was crying and singing is pretty impressive.


Jacob is singing “Love Hurts”?
This kinda sucks.
Not the singing, he sings the hell out of everything, but he’s singing too high a register for me.
Prolly if I was there in person I would LOOOOOOOVE it.
But, I’m not.


Lauren is making the entire country do “the wave” in the form of a giant, continuous eye-roll.
She’s going to sing Unchained Melody.
UGH
I really don’t want to hear it AGAIN. This song is SO overplayed.

Oh, hey! She looks like a Barbie!

I mean like, Farrah Fawcett
She’s doing a fine job on this song.
Oh that was EXCELLENT!
She really just pushed herself and really endeared herself to me and prolly at least a billion other people, since my heart is made out of a big hunk of lead wrapped in iron.
And then I think she was supposed to hit up some big/high notes again but her voice broke; but she was just great.
Yes. I said it.


Off topic, WHY ARE THE CAMERAS ALWAYS AT CROTCH LEVEL!?!???!??!!??


Scotty is singing Elvis Presley

BORING.


Haley’s last song is “The House of the Rising Sun” by the Animals.
She’s singing the beginning a capella.
I love her voice, but I’m not quite sure I want to hear this song.
Ok, actually, I quite liked it. She got a standing O from the judges.
Even my husband liked it and he’s kinda picky about bluesy songs.
She really does have an amazing voice.

And, she’s no Pia, but she’s nice to look at


Well, if Haley gets voted off it won’t be because I wasn’t voting for her.


I’m guessing Jacob is leaving.


HOLY CRAP YOU GUYS!!
I WAS RIGHT!
Jacob got voted off!


It’s not Scotty, but at least it’s not Haley!


Let’s remember what is important here: I was right.

Posted in American Idol, bludge, Season 10, TV | Tagged: , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

The Bludge Thinks You Can’t Dance

Posted by The Bludge on September 25, 2009

Now, I’ve watched American Idol since its inception and I’ve bludged it for at least 2 seasons, but since the season hasn’t started yet, I wanted to bludge something else!

So, I picked ‘So You Think You Can Dance’ because it’s another competition show.  Please let’s not refer to it as a “reality” show because really, the only reason this would happen in real life is if someone made a show for it, buuuuuut since it’s actually happening, I guess you COULD call it a reality show! NOW I get it!

So, You Think You Coulda Picked a Better Title?

Perhaps I could make a few suggestions:
“You’re Ridiculously Talented but you’ll be Lucky to Make Enough Money to Even Qualify as “Poor”!”

No?

How about “Holy Hell, y’all are So Good I Can’t Tell When you Mess Up, How am I Supposed to Choose?”

Hmmm, now I understand why the name is so long, I guess they picked the best one after all.

So today they are in Boston. I can’t understand this host lady’s accent.  You know, you could sell a bag of shit so long as the person pitching the product is British or Aussie.

For the record, I think I can dance.
Not well, but I have a ghetto booty and it’s illegal to NOT know how to dance if you were gifted in the assal region, as I was.
FYI, it has to be an OEM ass (I’m looking at you Kardashian-that-is-not-the-giant-one-but-also-has-no-personality).

Having said that (Wait, was there a point?) I can not do the “booty shake” so I don’t even come CLOSE to even being equal to someone who SLEPT with these awesome dancers.

Random Thought: KFed was a dancer.
He’s like the Riverdance dog except not as cute and less respected.

Oh, FYI I totally cry during this show.

So, back to the show?

Up first is Teddy Tedholm which I’m sure is not his real name. It’s not that I think that’s a stage name, it’s just that sometimes if your name is John Tedholm you get called Tedholm and then people are fucking LAZY these days and can’t even say a WHOLE NAME so ya get called Ted or Teddy.

Anyway, he is the one wearing the argyle pants.  And a bow tie.
Ohai schtick!

Ok, he started dancing…is he making this up as he goes?

Probably now would be a good time to point out that I know less about dancing than I do, say, parenting being gay eating circus peanuts while standing on Nicolas Cage’s throat-waiting for him to take his last bre…eh-hem.  So I was saying, I ain’t know SHIT about “syncopation”, “canter pivots”, or “ball changes”. I’d have to wiki each one of those terms. Ok, so I totally Googled those.

So, why am I bludging this show? I know most of the judges on these types of shows are usually experts in their business, I mean, look at Randy Jackson, he knows how to…play something that has strings on it.
Or Ellen, she…prolly slept with some angsty lesbian singer/songwriter, at least once.

Totally.
Qualified.


So, back to “Crazypants” Teddy: I expected the judges to tell him to go home but they LOVED HIS PERFORMANCE.  Did I just get Punk’d??
I didn’t get his performance AT ALL.

I’m rethinking this whole “bludging SYTYCD” thing.

#2 dancer is Jean Lloret (or something-they flash the names REALLY quickly and I didn’t feel like rewinding)
He’s an un(dance)educated BBoy’er apparently.
Starting out pretty slow here, I think the judges and I both are waiting for him to sta
WHOAH! Did you SEE that!?
Mr. Man just DEFIED GRAVITY
He did this move that was just SICK!

I sure hope he’s not a one-trick-pony cuz the judges are giving him tickets to the next audition already!

#3 was a dood named Kimara but they showed his name and his hair and that was about it.

#4 Channing Cook
Hey there.  *cocks face up and nods*

How YOU doi…oh sorry.
What I mean to say is, Channing’s pretty hot.
She looks like a fun gal, prolly was a cheerleader. Or gymnast. Or basket weaver-what the fuck do I know?
So she starts dancing and the show almost changed to ‘So I Think I Just Saw Your Crotch’, but whatevs.
She danced pretty well, I guess. It was good dancing, but I didn’t loooooooove it.
I wasn’t RFJ (Really Freakin’ Jazzed).
The judges like her ok and they want her to try the choreographed piece before they decide.

#5 Six Foot eight Peanut
No he is NOT tapping to Hip-Hop!
LOVE IT!
I should mention I’m not a fan of tap.
Oh judges, I’m SO sure he wants you to point out, and joke about, his height on NATIONAL TV.

Shit though, did you see how tall he was? I could totally stand underneath him and he wouldn’t even feel me breathing on his balls.
Not that I would do that.
That’s gross.
I’d totally hold my breath.

#6 Russell Ferguson
Is he Crumping? Krumping? Crimping? Kranking? Crumpets?
Mmmmm, doooonuts.
Oh damn, I’m hungry.
Anyway, I have no clue what this business is all about and I’m not feelin’ it.
Oh British judge-man and your “If you put Crumping with Tap you get CRAP!”

Keep your day job.
Wait, what IS your day job?
I bet he prolly dresses up in Halloween costumes and colors pictures in Dora coloring books.

#7 Fabrizio
So I JUST said to my husband I says, “I like how they don’t show the bad people”.

And then this.
It’s not terrible, but I can tell you this, he ain’t gonna win this thing.
He falls down and when they rewind and replay it looks kinda painful, but he got up and kept going.
Kudos for cahones.

So they judge the people they asked to come back for chroeographed dancing and of course they didn’t show much.

Hot Channing got through (yay!), and Russell (who was prolly AMAZING but we’ll never know!), but Beanpole got cut.
You know, Peanut. Oh ALL RIGHT, his real name is Ryan.  He was very gracious about it and had a good attitude, so that’s cool.

#8 is a couple, Karen and Mathew Hauer (or something)
This is some weird-ass music that they’re dancing to right now.  They’re good but I’m not blown away.  I was hoping to like them more because they seemed so cool in their interview.
You know, playful banter indicating that they totally do it in the kitchen.
I agree with country-bumpkin-judge, Karen is HOT.

So when the announcer says the word “ballroom” it sounds like she’s saying “boring”, which is kind of ironic.

#9 is the Jewish Rico Suave, Gene Berstyn (or something)
OMG 17 different STDs just knocked at my door after just looking at this douche!
Wait a minute, did he just say he likes women?
TOTALLY would’ve pegged him for a power bottom.
Ok, he REALLY looks like someone I know but I can’t say who because I prefer my car sans bombs.
Well, he can dance but I want to punch myself in the face when I watch him and I think that’s a bad sign prolly.

#10 What is THIS fuckery? It’s a 40-something year old dood in jogging spandex pants and he is totally acting a fool.
Oh shit, that Mary judge is a little brutal.  She said “I was laughing the whole time but for all the wrong reasons.”
HARSH!
ACCURATE!

#11 Kevin Hunte
Dood, keep your hands off of your crotch, this is a family show.
Oh my LAWD, girlfriend-judge (the might mighty gay one) needs to STOP trying to “talk like a black person”.

He is mixing up Queen and Queens.
Though I TOTALLY revert to my ghetto-speak when I’m around friends I’ve known since GROWING UP THERE so maybe this gayelle grew up in the projects.
Ok, my neighborhood wasn’t ghetto, but it was rightnextdoor.

So Kevin and Rico “narish” Suave got through to the next auditions! Guido was told to control his eyebrows or the judges would hold him down and Botox that shit.
I offered to help.

So if I was one of those dancers that wasn’t even shown on the episode I would be HELLA PISSED.

All in all it was a pretty non-fucking-eventful show. 
It’s hard getting into a groove with a new show, the pressure to be drool-inducing hilarious is REALLY HIGH!
No wait, that’s just leftover high from high school.


Tune in next time when I do something that warrants writing a post!!

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